Welcome to Angel’s Life!

it’s had been half year didn’t write my blog. my white hair keep growing. it’s because i was busy during my working day,part time daughter,granddaughter job! during festival ching ming, we visited my dearly grandpa, clean up his tomb and bought for his new clothes,having drink with him,sit and sharing with him. we create our new site of my grandpa’s rememberance site www.looiks.blogspot.com. it’s has many pictures of his precious from young till end of july 2007.

my grandma was so stronger and a happy nanny fun dance front of his grandchildren!happy,laughter,joy we had shared at this moment.

good news i will be move to singapore for my further job next month of sep. i am glad my whole family supportive. sure, i will spend them big supper after my 1st salary! actually, here malaysia not many places that i am seeking for a job. i hope i will never be regret on my own decision.

on merdeka day, i was celebrated with my grandma at home whom she alone at home after my family went for hong kong trip. it’s fun to hear my nanny tells her joke and i laughed till my stomach pain and my tears! she’s very good at her jokes.

my health.. since last june to july i was complained having cough, suffered asthma and went for hospital 2 times. my new work place was very dirty so it makes me complained severe unwell. my boss gave me 2 months long rest. but i dun think i will be working there cos it effect my health. no worries, i am getting better after having long rest.

my brother get a new gf. i am happy to hear that his GF was control him and everything change him!watch his diet! hahaha.. sometimes my bro come and complained to my mum for wanting to eat meat!!but his gf does not like. haha.. poorly my bro, i can’t help him.it’s a good sake for him. thanks goodness. at least his gf protect me from his bullying!

I was on working that day till around 11 pm just finished work lately. how busy i am. after work, rushed to hav dinner with my good friends at the curve. after our enjoy diner, we walk around and fun outside from the curve. we bought a lot snow flakes spray 20 cans!! fun time and naughty girls!and i was so happy to hav fun around and ve took memories pictures all of us..i will never forget…   i am so happy cos i can watch wonderful firework with them and a guy whom always fun around me. Had a new friend through play time. He is David and a hairsylist professional at the curve. He ask me for my phone number and we closely each others after our having snack time around 3am. He’s very talkactive and listener person.

then 4 35 am, went out clubbing with friends at KL heritage.   how tired but really fun to do.  Dance around with friends and they ar great dancer!

6am, back home and had suffered attack gastric again. it is such so terrified but it is not 1st time i had experienced.. next day, went to c doc get treatment.. seems i am goin to die soon!! sigh~just kiddin. but i am sad with that cos it always disturb my mood and ve up suffered many days.. disturb me when i was due working. very effect my mood.. why it is so but i ve checked up already.. think of positive could heal me.  i wan just make myself happy and i wan everybody surrounded happy..

next day morning around 10am, rushed to work sigh~ hav to work when i am sick! i am very hardworking person..

sigh~, my good friend will be gonna married next month!! sigh~ too fast.. i dun hope i am the last! hehe

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU!!and WSIHES U ALL DREAM COME TRUE!

it was 12 nov before my birthday. We celebrated at genting highlands,FIRST WORLD. we went for safari clubbing at midnight. they gave me very suprised a birthday cake and everyone greeting me a "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" surround.  i was too happy and dance and fun around. Until all of us drunk..how happily i am.. next day, was busiest day. after comin down from genting, went out another friends celebrated every hours. till around 10pm, celebrate party at home with my beloved family.

really tired but for me it such a beautiful memories never be last. i want to built more happily memories in future.

3 months now after grandpa was passed away on july. Through of 3 months, i had a very strong person but is actually i hide my feelings.. is too much unbear when my grandma tells me such stories about him and cried for loss her beloved. sometimes i know it could hard for her to forget. i told her he’s in heaven and he doesn’t want to c her to be sad again.. to learn and try our best to used up without him. Brought her to genting together, shopping window, and massage centre and pamper herself spa.. seems she’s getting ok.. but i know she will try her all best.. grandma.. u must be keep strong.. last week i was durin working hours, my mind flash back sudden how grandpa was suffer, how he died.. just make me little tear in front of customer.. she asked me are u alright? yes i am very alright and my eyes just feel too tired keep focus on work. i went to toilet after settle done my job, i splash water on my face and i told myself.. " girl, dun think so much about him. try to calm.. and breathe out and in..  i am trying to hide my feelings and it all put into my heart……

once day, my mom collected her angpow which were gift from grandpa every year of her birthday, she told me about this and said " I MISS MY FATHER SO MUCH… HE GAVE ME  EVERY YEAR ANGPOW BUT I NEVER USE IT AS I WANT TO KEEP IT AS MEMORY…"  she cry.. i told her " COME OUT TO SHOPPING WITH ME LATER OK? i was out of tear behind of her.. and this feelings was so much unbear… i wan to show everyone specially family that i was strong so either they can.. but behind of my feelings was so much unbear and never never sharing my feelings to anyone..  i afraid i might be cry again… i afraid i might can’t face it.. i afraid i will lost my mood during my working.. i won’t let it effect me.

oh well… today later 4 pm, i m leavin to bangkok trip for 5 days holidays.. just pampered myself and i do want to enjoy myself and happy.

Grandpa… i miss u so much.. 

oh well, very long time dee didn’t put on my blogs.. u ve know my grandpa tat i’ve wrote down this blogs.. mmm.. actually i do understanding how my grandpa feelings through hard time and he had much suffered due breathing difficult and get viruses around in his body.. under anus and stomach where he had operation last 10 years ago.. he admitted to hav cancer stomach was successful operation. past 10 years, he faced difficult to bowel and feel sick badly… doc ‘ve check him up and found the viruses attack him and he admitted to the icu at selayang hospital 3 months…

by then he had high blood pressure and it makes him turn into the half coma.. half coma mean which he couldn’t wake up but still mind on… still move his hands on.. everytimes i see him, i feel so sad.. he trying to fighting all his best to live.

on 17 july… he passed away in the end.. on tat day, we family visited him and knew he will going die soon.. meanwhile we feel tired and back to home frm hospital and sudddenly doc call up that he will shortly breathing.. we rushed on da way to the hospital and 5 minute he passed away.. he’s trying to hold on to see us last..

arrange for funeral 3 days at xiao en centre and we family planned to overnight at the funeral just accompany with grandpa..

until now, i still feel miss him.. he must be happily in heaven and bless us.. kong kong, will miss u dearly!

on 17 june, it’s was a father day celebration. Bought my lovely dad a wallet and celebrated father day at the selayang hospital… it’s my lovely grandpa and he was in teared as we whole family came special for him for this father day.. sometimes we could be busy and sometimes visited him weekend. bought for him essence chicken.. now his condition health not so good.. suddenly to hav a heart problem and blood not movin make him to hav experience swelling legs and hands.. 3 months… still not recover. grandma feel sad.. i understand how he feels.. it was a suffering experience. but we love him and support him whole our heart so that he will never give up till end.

Yesterday night, it was around 930pm i was received news that grandpa was in breathing difficult and shaking.. we rushed to pick him up immediately to the hospital on the way..my grandpa was in difficult breathin and hold my hands harder.. this time, i was being panic and control my tear. i told my grandpa a word " BE STRONG’, DUN GIVE UP"..

955pm arrived to the hospital emergency at unversity,PJ.. during waiting for doc check him up in the emergency room.. my grandma told me" IT IS MY FAULT, COS i OFF TAT AIR CON AS I AFRAID HE WILL GET COLD.. OPEN THE WINDOW LET WIND COME IN.. BUT I NEVER THOUGHT HE STARTED SHAKED.. grandma in tear.. i hugs her..  i can’t cry cos i wan to give them all comfort i can do. my uncle, my relative aunty arrived in hospital and was in state emotional..

my grandpa’s doc still never come to check up.. he’s not a punctual time!! others doc confirmed that my grandpa had a bacteria in his stomach and admitted high fever.. had gave him injection and test blood and everything to check him..

during waitin for chinese doc come,… my grandpa suddenly wan to talk to me alone.. i confront him and hold his hand tight… he gave me rm200.. i asked him why he gave me.. he said " MONEY IS NOT IMPORTANT FOR ME NOW, KEEP IT AND U ARE A SUCH GOOD GIRL  .. U TAKE CARE OF ME.. TAKE IT.. WHEN I AM DIE,REMEMBER TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF..TAKE CARE OF UR MOM,UR BRO, UR DAD,Ur GRANDMA.. i shut his mouth and dun say likes this.. i was being in tear .. kiss his forehead.. "grandpa, u ar alright.. dun worry… "

next day.. he hav to stay in the hospital and need check up. i was sleepless and had 2 panda eyes!! i tell u that i do love him the way he does love me and he’s the one who training me during my primary school and my secondary school. he guided me everything included being a responsible person. i remember him.. my grandpa was a fierce person but a very responsible grandpa. he cares all of us grandchildren. He was a very hardworking person.  so time for me to care him..

my grandpa had admittted to the hospital last monday ago that he had lost his blood a lot.. doctor had profound that blood from his urine where it flow away when he didn’t realised tat.. he had sufferings on his difficult bowel and his bladder problem. tuesday next, i was very rushed to the hospital after work and visit my granpa surround with whole family.. i look at him.. he crying and hold my hand tat he was being so scared to end his life… i told him dun be scared.. we all here for him to support him and care for him.. he cry in front of us.. my whole family specially grandma crying.. so either i am..

next 3 days.. on wed.. i didn’t sleep well and pray for my grandpa get well soon. during on my work day, i keep thinking of him and worries much.. my boss know it and advised me dun worry about him.. everythin will be fine.. i hope. my grandpa had fully feed of blood into his body.. it was by donate from us.. then check up.. doc found tat he had terrible bowel and difficult during urine.. whereby it flow away blood out. so he decided to hav operation under his anus part.. so what we worry that he couln’t bear it pain as he was too old.. i feel so sad..

next 4 days thursday.. morning we whole family and relatives friends came to support him for the operation… during on the way to operation room.. he crying in front of us.. makes we crying but we still bear our feelings and suppot him.. among of them went for church to pray for him.. either me with others siblings and cousins also willing to be vegetarian as to pray for him get well.. operation success!! but he had admitted to hav high fever 37′c!!makes me worried…sigh… grandpa.. u must be brave!

next 5 days fri…. durin on my workin day.. i fell ill and had shake my hands terrible.. doc confirmed tat i had admitted to hav high fever 40′c!!so mc and sunday too.. so funny.. i told my grandpa that i had high fever 40′c than him!! he told me to take care of myself! i told him we together to take care each others!! i love u grandpa!!

sat.. today..MC today… and brought my grandpa out from hospital and back his home….

from this morning, i got to catch stiff my nose and keep running nose!i thought i could manage to strong and manage to come to work even through i am sick. but when i am doing manicure for customer.. my both hands had started shake and my eyes had redness but i am very responsible person that i did ask other collegue to do for her.. feel so terrible that i had shake my hands..dunno y..thanks to my boss for brought me to clinic nearby that doc confirmed that i had admitted high fever 40"c he shocked. so did MC today.. and back home the rest.. now i only know that i am not enough strong! here i am so lonely at home.. eat,sleep, rest and watch tv.. my parent went out for their meeting and my bro went out with his gf.. seems i need someone take care of me! but i am too afraid to falling in love. i miss someone i had lost…

i never thought that 3 of us went to sook yee’s fren house to swim! it was about 11pm to reach there.. by earlier i doesn’t want to go as it was already late but one of my fren begged me and hope me to have fun with them all.. finally i joined with them to go SWIM! i never thought it is really crazy for me but sound Fun around there.. mmm~ not bad at all and quite "big house" and nice place i had never seen b4. meanwhile we went for swim together 3 of us.. playful time and laughed nonstop! one of my fren realli a good swimmer! me? veri poorly! mmm.. never forget that last time i was kid and fall into pool after slippery and i was in trouble breatheless and 2 guards save me.. it makes me alive so thanks to them very much. if not because of them, i wont be alive till now.. even since that doctor confirm that i had an asthmatic problem.. so till now i m still under in control and manage to take care of myself well.   well, it is really helpful me for reduce stress and relax..  i will never forget our sweetest moment! mm.. heard that sook yee will leave australia for 3 months for her holidays trip.. will miss her..

since i worked gorgeous nail, nowdays i had getting busy a lot and it make me quite a lot of pressures but i still manage to rest time and spend to enjoy my life.. so everyone same as me rite? continue tommorrow working!!